Running
by TGWnevertoforget
Summary: A collection of Alicia moments - where everything was right, wrong and everything in between. Mostly Will/Alicia despite my absolute best intentions.


**This is not my show. Spoilers up to 5x05, and speculative spoilers up to 5x15.**

**I have tried everything to centre a story purely around Alicia and Peter, but it is physically impossible.**

In law school, politics was a game, won with mock trials and only crumpled pages scattered over a dorm room a warning of an impending loss.

Alicia was always winning.

They told you law school that it wasn't the evidence. It was the art of rhetoric, manipulation of potential truths (because what is the truth?) that adjudicated the winner.

She told herself she won.

When her world splits open (again), her mind shatters, alternate worlds slicing her mind.

* * *

She closes her eyes, and she sees her husband,

"Does she do this for you? Does she?"

She sees the kiss, twenty years ago. Her fingers snake through his hair, as he tries to make her forget.

"Will."

She glanced up at the television, the audio haunting her. She doesn't know how words could possibly stitch up those gaping wounds.

* * *

"I love you." A voice echoes in her mind.

"Alicia, please. I love you."

Walking away from the press conference, she wants to end it all. She's been tied down by too many factors, and she's forgotten who she is.

Alicia Cavanaugh.

His fingers tighten around her waist, branding her.

"You're mine." He whispers.

She doesn't want to remind him how wrong he is. Instead, her moans come uncontrolled, each confession buried under the realms of passion.

I'm sorry.

It seemed she always had to apologise.

* * *

"I hired you. You were poison."

The words will not form at her lips.

I'm sorry.

"I must atone for my personal failings with my wife, Alicia."

In hindsight, she was always the good wife.

"You were collateral damage."

* * *

Her life is a cycle, revolving around Alicia Florrick, as she tries to forget who she used to be.

Who she used to love.

Who she maybe, might still love.

But she's not letting this go.

"This was your dream, Alicia."

Cavanaugh, Gardner and Associates.

Florrick, Agos and Associates.

* * *

She sees animalistic sneer across his face, warning her.

I'm going to destroy you.

At least, that's what she thinks.

* * *

"I know why you did it."

Her eyes are focused on the deposition in front of her. She almost rolls her eyes, but she looks up and sees the softness in Diane's eyes.

"What do you mean?"

"When the governor offers your name as Supreme Court Judge, the line between personal and professional life blurs. You sacrifice because you think the end justifies the means. You spent so long as the good wife, you balanced the law so well with the politics that surrounded your life. You had the best teachers in the world."

"Why are you here, Diane?"

"You need a friend, Alicia. I'm not saying it's me, but you're running in circles. You and Cary are not Will and me; your first priority is not the law. Every step in your career has been matched by personal consequences."

She tries to tell herself that this was a business decision.

* * *

But.

She remembers the tears shed in the privacy of the Lockhart/Gardner elevators, as the words echoed through her.

"I don't give a damn."

* * *

"You're using me."

He looks up, then, emotions unbalanced and threatening to explode. She sees the fire in his eyes, the snarl of lips, but for once, she doesn't know what any of it means.

"Ashbaugh was _my _client."

"This is my firm."

You were mine.

Even within seconds, battle lines are drawn; wars won and lost – the incense and passion raging through one another.

This is the closest she ever got to fully admitting her unrelenting feelings and lustrous intentions.

* * *

"Just stop, Alicia."

* * *

"I can't. Will, it's too much." She hears herself sniffle, as she tries to comfort herself in a way she knows will never work.

His eyes are full of sorrow, but he says nothing, pulling her in for a hug she didn't deserve.

* * *

Stolen kisses, the moan at the back of her throat, one she often refused to give, scared her.

They were never really good at keeping secrets.

* * *

She stands at the door, begging it to open without her knock.

It does.

They stand, inches away, refusing to back down from each other's glances, before she finally speaks.

"Hi."

**When I have more time, I'll try write this style again with a bit more than what I've done.**

**Alrighty, I'm pretty sure this is the longest story I've written in a long time. I would like to have written a proper story but at the moment, I'm stressed out and can't really focus on any task for a great deal of time, so I'm just messing around in one shots, or something like that.**

**This is my comfort for the fact that my favourite show has broken up my favourite couple – and though I'm excited to watch, I'm also scared of the result and the loss of a friendship I used to consider central to the show. Also, this story actually started before 5x05 but I've decided it fits – particularly with the spoilers I've been reading.**

**This show does not belong to me.**

**Please read and review – that button is incredibly helpful to me. J**

**Oh, and HAPPY NEW YEAR! (soon)**


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